Beetle Eyes
by seabury
Summary: A conversation arises between a professor and a student. Severus Snape thought he knew everything about the students of Hogwarts, but is proven wrong when he first meets one Luna Lovegood. Oneshot, just a random idea!


**A/N: After using up some plot bunnies I had (sometimes failing to transform them into real bunnies :D), I felt like writing something really random. So this was how my Snape-meets-Luna fic idea was born. Hope you like it!**

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"How did you come upon those beetle eyes, sir?" a small voice piped from behind him.

Professor Severus Snape started suddenly when he realized that one of those first year brats was still in his classroom. He did not particularly want to turn around in his desk chair and have to exert the tiniest bit of energy to answer the strange question. Those damn Ravenclaws had to be so intensely inquisitive about everything, he thought. And why was this student still down in his dungeon? No one ever stayed behind in his class if they could help it. Without turning around, he responded.

"Those matters do not concern the likes of you. Please make your way to your next class."

"I would find it a spectacular gesture if you would look at me when I ask a question. The Glackenspit Nymphs don't respond well to rudeness." the voice stated calmly, apparently oblivious to what the professor coldly told her.

Although her voice held no visible threat, Snape thought this an opportune moment to whip around dramatically and dock a ridiculous amount of house points for her cheek. He subtly arranged his robes so that when he stood up abruptly, they would swirl about him in an intimidating manner. Snape shot up from his chair and proceeded to spin around menacingly to survey the imbecilic student. However, he quickly noted that his robe-billowing technique had failed, as they had wrapped tightly around his legs, forever binding him within their threadbare confines. He promptly toppled over, grabbing the student with him as a last minute attempt to remain upright.

"I'm sorry that that had to happen. I suppose the nymphs really have it out for you… in fact…" she trailed off uncertainly as she extended a pale arm towards Snape's head.

Still disoriented from the fall, he did not see it coming, and his insides rose with fury and shock when he felt an unwelcome hand roaming the top of his head. He was already unbelievably shaken than a student had the nerve to speak to him in that way. Surveying her quickly through his narrowed eyes, he realized the first year was the Lovegood girl.

"MISS LOVEGOOD!" he roared. "Do you mean to tell me that you not only acted very foolishly and rudely towards myself, but that you also had the strength in that dense brain of yours to anger me further by _pushing me to the floor_?"

He emphasized the last few words, speaking them unnervingly quietly and barely opening his mouth due to the incessant gritting of his teeth. He needed to regain what little dignity he had left and make it multiply tenfold.

"I was only trying to show you this", she said, pointed to a random spot in the air where nothing was visible. "I saw it lurking in your hair… perhaps if you washed it more often it would have been more noticeable."

Luna appeared to be very unaware of the fact that her Potions professor was now seething to the point of speechlessness. His tangible anger was rapidly building up behind every inch of his skin. She was not at all shaken from the fall, nor at how obviously outraged Snape was towards her. Although her hair was dishevelled and her book bag had spilled its contents across the cold flagstones, she took no notice.

"I believe that one week of detention and 50 points from Ravenclaw are in order for your stupid and insolent behaviour", Snape said, forcing the words through his tight lips. He tried to speak as calmly as he could. He was not giving the foolish girl a reason to reap the benefits of angering him.

"And I believe that it is cruel to take the eyes of beetles in order to enhance the art of Potion-making. You could find some alternative, I am sure. I heard you were quite intelligent – although relatively antisocial – from Daddy." said Luna serenely. She had now begun to toss her silvery-yellow hair out of her face, and was proceeding to pick up her books from the floor.

"Changed my mind – detention – two weeks – the nerve – blundering little idiot" spluttered Snape. He had now been so sucked in to the puzzlingly bizarre vortex that was Luna that he had been effectively rendered speechless.

"Good thinking!" cried Luna. "We can think of an alternative together! See you at eight o'clock tomorrow… that works best for me! I've going over to Professor Hagrid's at seven to search his vegetable patch for Nillywitted Skolgats!"

With her once again filled book bag in tow, she skipped merrily out of the room, pausing once to sing over her shoulder, "You could use your own eyes, you know. They are very reminiscent of those of a beetle's."

The pale blue orbs that were her eyes twinkled madly as she resumed her graceful skipping out the door, leaving an enormously infuriated and confounded professor in her wake.

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Well, that's all! Reviews are very much appreciated! 


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